To say I feel depressed is an understatement. These bouts of sadness hit me and the more they happen, the harder they hit, the deeper the gash feels. Firstly, I hate the internet. Makes me feel like everyone else has moved on in life, and I’m the only one who’s stuck up.
Moving on, I don’t like R anymore. He’s a chutiya. There I said it. He’s so weird, and I was unsure about him right from the beginning. But do you have ANY idea what this means? Yes, the dreaded D word. The more I think of him as a no strings attached person, the more sense it makes. Diary, it makes so much sense, ‘itsnotevenfunny’
Okay the emotional repurcussions on people around us may be terrible but just think about it. It makes sense to me. I might not be speaking though. A lethal mixture of loneliness, longing-ness and emotional needs is asking for this.
But seriously, it feels like every fucking person in the planet has moved on to new people, new lives, new jobs, and here I am, moved back to my hometown and stuck in this time rut.
on a side note, may I mention how grateful I am to the gods above that I have R in my life. I don’t care about the men, but thank god for R. She’s my savior angel, she’s the reason I’m not taking medication for this so-called depression.