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back to the hood

Back in bombay and oh my god i cannot even begin to fathom the person I’ve become. A few months short of 24 and I feel so totally zoned. Zoned out. Where was life when I was all of 20, freshly graduated out of college and today, today I am 23 and honestly, I feel like I’m 26. Talks of marriage happening, talks of the future happening.

Also, I’ve been having weird dreams about B lately. The first time, I was able to openly speak to R about it but now its just weird. I don’t know why I still dream about B. I don’t want to be with him, I don’t particularly like him, but I still have these dreams about him. And his new girlfriend! I don’t know how he fell in love with her. Well, if he fell in love with that…he was definitely not the person I thought I was in love with.

Speaking of misplaced love, S left for Sydney last night and quite surprisingly I took it quite well. This is someone who has just changed as a person. He is not the same guy I knew, you know..the same guy I was in love with. It feels like I was in love with someone in my head and it was just projected to random guy S. I cannot believe that I was this foolhardy about him.

Which brings me to my next question; I am truly sick of the men who have been a part of my life, be it the constantly cribbing grandfather type of a high school boyfriend, my emotionless biker boy and the clown that I dated after. They make for awesome friends, they do (the biker boy, not so much..but he used to take me for drives, so yeah) but I am sick of my choices in men. and I am scared as well.

 

Sigh.

Oh, and I just realized there wasn’t a question at all.

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