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21 . 04. 2010

Hi Diary
it is the 21st day of april in the extremely hot year of 2010. i am done with college and i cannot tell you how much doha isn’t home anymore and how much that very thought scares me, considering how much i considered this place home. I always looked forward to coming here, sitting in my room. staring at the purple wall and reading my favorite novels. all of a sudden, my room looks eerie with a weird shade of purple on one wall. im thinking, hey my hostel room seemed more welcoming.and i am not getting my space here. it is very very difficult. Do you know what it feels like? it feels like im diving and as i come up , i realize that it is a plastic box and the upper portion has been sealed with plastic, not even glass (it is breakable) but this is the kind of plastic, humphrey bogart jumps atop of in Sabrina. this is that plastic that environmentalists dread because of its durability. and i cannot break through. im struggling for air. Do you know how that feels?

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