The finality of a supposed beginning
Today is the last day of the second last week of my first job.
Always wondered about this feeling,deliberated over it,avoided it like I avoid family gatherings and finally I’m here. Its a funny, warm feeling.
Funny, because I can’t believe myself. I have always been a safe player. Same school for 12 years, applied to only one college, got through that. Got placed from college into a Big 4 finance firm..
And then, only day. *KABOOM* it struck me.
is what I would like to say, but what really happened is that all these thoughts that I had , all these things I wanted to do just would erupt into sudden bursts of randomness, for instance..I really wanted to get into war journalism. The safe person that I am, I went into the highly predictable option for a commerce student; Business Administration. but its fine, I did well in college.But I realized I have done the most random things in college; I got a tongue piercing! which I eventually swallowed. But we will get to that story later.
Safe doesn’t define me. But it gives an answer to a lot of my questions. I sometimes wonder if safe is just an SK synonym for fear. And then I thought about it. It was like this fast paced moment in one of these increasingly appearing crime TV shows when the cute faced actor starts putting the pieces together. Fear. Scared of what? And then I (finally) had my KABOOM moment, I was actually scared of, well nothing. It just seemed like the oh-its-available-so-let-me-take-this-job-up kind of thing.
The point is,that, I have realized it now and I am going to have to leave. I’m all of 21 and I can’t sit here hoping for randoms bursts whenever I feel the need to be adventurous. Plan on working on that aspect. Lots of traveling, and soul searching to do.