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Not so nice, bitch

I wasn’t nice to someone today – and it didn’t feel too good. I don’t like being not nice to people but today was different. I came to suddenly realize the value of time. I only had a few precious hours in a day – and here I was wasting it on a conversation going no where. So I decided the only way I could get out of this black hole was to snap out of it, and the only way that seemed effective was a snappy response.

But there was no need for me to be rude to someone else – to project my feelings to another person is not a good thing, especially if it could come across as being hurtful.
How do you correct these things? Do you make it up to the person – go and apologize. She/He would think I’m nuts (would probably help my case, in a way).
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Okay, so so many days have passed – what is happening to me?

Going through this blog makes me so happy – it is this treasure trove of secret memories. and if you know me, and you have stumbled upon this, YOU HAVE BEEN CURSED. Submit your confession with me, and you shall be forgiven to a beautiful, wonderful life.

 

Okay moving on – marriage is fun, so far. I feel like I’ve learnt so much by living with someone. So much about the person, so much more about myself. So crazy, but I didn’t realize how anally annoying I was – and how I can be so inappropriate. Wait, where’s the part where I realize all these wonderful qualities about me – looks like it hasn’t hit me yet.

(To be continued)

But let’s talk about the good stuff

The good news is, I am married to A. Being married is no different, and i LOVE that. I have always been terrified that life would change a 180 degrees as soon as I wear the thali, and I quite enjoy wearing it tbh. It reminds me of him, and it makes me think that he is close to my heart, especially since he lives so far away in city B.

I really want to come home to him, and I really don’t enjoy this long distance marriage. I keep telling myself that this is short-lived, and I truly hope it is. I want to enjoy my married life with him, I want to be able to cook for him and go on trips with him. I really wish we lived together.

 

Torture at work

Yes, I work at the infamous U company. Horrible culture they say, Horrible culture I have to put up with. Everyday is a nightmare, dealing with sexist, misogynistic, insensitive pigs. I have never worked for a company this callous, this insensitive and this sexist. Whatever they are saying in the news, it is a hundred percent true. Take it from someone who has to deal with it in city C.

Continuing

Continuing on the previous rant, coming to work, being around insipid, uninspiring blokes is the worst feeling – especially when the company doing some life, world changing things. And I am stuck in a city with people who can only talk about people and not problems. And nothing is being done to change this culture.

I got mansplained yesterday. and he was such a dick that he started the conversation saying ‘Do you want me to explain it to you’ and proceeded to give his jizz filled bullshit without even waiting for an answer from my end.

 

My colleagues at work are the best when it comes to exclusion. First, I got teased at work for my accent. I’m sorry that I don’t sound like you, can you not treat me differently now? They make plans to go to restaurants where I cannot eat because it serves only non-veg food. Yes, my friends, high-school level drama here. #Riverdalecalling

Secondly, for the fact that I’m a girl. Yes, so many instances. Ugh.

Thirdly, teasing me with A when I wasn’t even dating him. Can you believe it? I was under this mental torture where my colleagues used to tease me with him and I used to dread coming in to work every single day. And no one stood up for me. Because this was acceptable behavior.

When we went for a summit at M, a senior level employee (now rightly fired) told me that if he wasn’t married, he would ‘totally hit on me’.

 

Everyday

Every day is becoming a struggle. To survive in this horrible workplace.

Aaran

DearĀ A,
your presence brought us so much joy, I’ve never seen my brother this thrilled, this happy and it was all because of you.
when A first told me, I was numb. I was going to be an aunt, yes! I have waited for this moment for so long.
and the time in Phuket, when we found out that you were a boy. the joy and delight. we will never forget how we placed bets on your gender, and the funniest thing was , we didn’t care to win or lose. both sides made us winners.
aaru, you united us together and you made us a stronger family. we will always love you, more than we’ll ever love anyone else. You have left us sad but to know that you are in a better place, gives us courage. we love you Aaru.